Escape to Paradise: 259 Resort Chonburi Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: 259 Resort Chonburi Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: 259 Resort Chonburi Awaits! – A Chaotic, Honest Review (and Hopefully, You'll Book!)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I’m about to spill the tea (and maybe a little bit of that complimentary bottled water) on Escape to Paradise: 259 Resort Chonburi. Yep, the one everyone's whispering about. My mission? To give you the REAL scoop – the good, the bad, the slightly questionable – so you can decide if this supposedly idyllic getaway is actually your cup of…well, you get the idea. This isn't your average, cookie-cutter review. We're going raw here.
First Impressions (or, The Struggle is Real):
Getting there. Let's be honest, accessibility is kinda key, right? Especially if you’re like me and perpetually manage to trip over air. Accessibility: The website wasn't super clear on wheelchair access, which instantly earned a demerit. I always appreciate clarity on that front. The car park [free of charge] was a lifesaver (because, hello, budget!). The elevator was a definite plus, though I swear I held my breath every time it groaned. Airport transfer available - HUGE win! Less stress, more vacation.
Safety and Germs (Because 2023):
Right, so safety is paramount, and I'm a hypochondriac. So, what did Escape to Paradise do? They tried. They really tried. Anti-viral cleaning products? Check. Daily disinfection in common areas? Check. Rooms sanitized between stays? Double check. Hand sanitizer everywhere you looked? Triple check. I’m not gonna lie, it was comforting. Felt safe, but a tad clinical, but that’s a small price to pay for peace of mind, right? The staff trained in safety protocol seemed genuinely interested in keeping everyone safe. Felt reassuring. And, bonus, they had CCTV in common areas and outside too.
The thing is, I’m still not sure if I trusted the hot water linen and laundry washing. Can you really be sure? But they had hygiene certification, so kudos. They even had individually-wrapped food options, which appealed to that inner germaphobe. Room sanitization opt-out available. (I, for one, felt safer keeping my room thoroughly cleaned). The safe dining setup helped a lot, even though some of the staff got a little too close. Physical distancing of at least 1 meter felt like a suggestion, sometimes.
The Room: My Little Cocoon (Mostly):
Alright, let's talk about the sanctuary. The non-smoking rooms were a must for me (hello, sensitive nose!). The air conditioning? Absolutely essential in Chonburi. My room was a comfortable, if slightly generic, space. Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Coffee/tea maker (thank the heavens!), Free bottled water, Hair dryer, In-room safe box, and Wi-Fi [free] (more on that later) were all in place. Desk? Check. Ironing facilities? Check. Mirror? So many mirrors…starting to question my sanity.
I appreciated the small touches, like the complimentary tea and the bathrobes. The blackout curtains were a godsend for those much-needed naps. However, that window that opens? Honestly, I tried for a solid five minutes to work out how to open it. Gave up. Separate shower/bathtub? Okay, now we're talking! That bathtub became my personal haven.
The internet access – wireless was… unreliable. Let’s just say I spent more time staring at the loading symbol than actually working. But, hey, you're on vacation, right? The internet access – LAN was a little better, but seriously, who travels with a LAN cable anymore?!
Food, Glorious Food (And the Occasional Hangry Meltdown):
Right, food. This is where things get interesting. The restaurants offered…well, a lot. Asian breakfast? Check. Western breakfast? Double check. A la carte in restaurant? Yep. Buffet in restaurant? Oh, my arteries! Breakfast [buffet] was included, and it did not disappoint…most of the time.
I was obsessed with the coffee/tea in restaurant. And I absolutely loved the bottle of water. I went through about 10 of those in the first afternoon.
The Asian cuisine in restaurant was spot on. I could eat a whole plate of those spring rolls, and I did. Multiple times. The International cuisine in restaurant? Kind of a mixed bag, honestly. But at least they tried. Didn't go for the salad in restaurant. I just wasn't feeling it.
The bar was pretty decent too, especially during happy hour. The Poolside bar was pure indulgence. Sipping cocktails while watching the sun set… chef's kiss.
Stuff to Do (Or, How to Avoid Boredom):
Okay, so this resort has it all: a Fitness center, a Gym/fitness, a Swimming pool [outdoor], a Spa, a Sauna, a Steamroom. Okay, so the fitness center was…well, it was there. Let’s leave it at that. But the Swimming pool was absolutely gorgeous. Pool with view? Oh yes. Spent most of my vacation there.
Now, the Spa. Let me tell you about the spa. I booked a Massage. A deep tissue massage, hoping to relax my stress away. The massage? Absolutely phenomenal! It was like my muscles were celebrating a tiny victory party. I mean, I thought I was going to cry from relief.
The Foot bath? Not my thing, but I’m sure some people like it. The Body scrub and Body wrap called to me, but I was too busy swimming. Perhaps next time.
The Bits and Bobs (Because Details Matter, Apparently):
- Services and conveniences: Daily housekeeping was a godsend. Concierge: helpful. They offer Food delivery, which is awesome.
- For the kids: I didn’t have kids with me, but they had Babysitting service and Kids facilities, which makes it a great location for those travelling with family.
- Getting around: Taxi service was easy to get, but a little expensive. Car park [free of charge] was great.
The Bottom Line (And Why You Should Probably Book):
Listen, Escape to Paradise: 259 Resort Chonburi isn’t perfect. It has its quirks, and it definitely has its imperfections. The Wi-Fi could be better; the food, occasionally, could be better. But, the staff are amazingly friendly, the rooms are comfortable, and the spa… oh, the spa.
But the experience was genuinely good. I felt relaxed, rejuvenated, and ready to face the world. It's got that tropical vibe that makes you forget your problems.
My Recommendation and Call to Action:
If what I've described sounds appealing to you, then absolutely book Escape to Paradise: 259 Resort Chonburi! Just go in prepared (bring your own Wi-Fi hotspot, just in case!), relax, and enjoy the adventure.
Special Offer Just for You:
Book within the next 72 hours and receive a complimentary spa treatment of your choice (up to a $50 value) AND a free cocktail at the poolside bar! Seriously, what are you waiting for?! That spa treatment alone is worth it!
Escape to Paradise: 259 Resort Chonburi. Book now, before my spot gets taken!
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Two Fifty Nine Resort: My Brain on Beach Time (and Possibly Too Much Pad Thai)
Okay, here we go. Two Fifty Nine. Chonburi. Thailand. I booked this hoping for zen, expecting maybe… a little tan? What I’ve got is, well, a lot of potential chaos wrapped in a beautiful bow of palm trees and questionable internet speeds. Here’s the truth – my itinerary, such as it is, is more of a suggestion than a concrete battle plan. But hey, that's life, right?
Day 1: Arrival, Arrival, and the Great Mosquito Massacre
- 14:00: Arrived. Exhausted. Bangkok traffic nearly broke me. Seriously, it’s a marvel of orchestrated chaos. The driver, bless his heart, seemed to navigate by sheer willpower and a symphony of horn honks. I arrived at Two Fifty Nine – a little less "resort," a little more "charming collection of bungalows clinging to the coastline." The view? Bloody gorgeous. The welcome drink? Fruity, delicious, and gone in approximately 3 seconds flat. I was thirsty.
- 14:30: Check-in. Smooth sailing, or so I thought. My bungalow? Absolutely adorable. Until I noticed a swarm of what I'm fairly sure were genetically engineered mosquito-pterodactyl hybrids lurking by the window. I immediately became the main course at their buffet. Cue the frantic application of the heavily scented insect repellent, which I'm pretty sure is now part of my genetic makeup.
- 15:00: Mandatory beach exploration. Sand. Water. Clouds. Okay, this is what I came for. Sat down, felt the sun on my face… bliss. Until a rogue wave almost swallowed my flip-flops. Seriously, the ocean's got a sense of humor.
- 16:00: Attempted to locate the resort's "spa." Found a dusty sign pointing vaguely towards some bamboo huts. Decided that perhaps getting eaten alive by mosquitos was a more relaxing option. Decided to postpone spa day. For now.
- 18:00: Found the restaurant! Ordered Pad Thai. The first bite? BOOM. Explosions of flavor! My tongue did a happy dance. Ate the entire thing. Probably should have paced myself.
- 19:00: Sunset. Majestic. Instagrammable. Spent about 20 minutes taking photos. Then, remembered there was a mosquito buffet, so I retreated to my bungalow, armed with repellent and a Netflix subscription.
- 21:00: Still feel the Pad Thai and mosquitos bites, I'm wondering if I'll survive the night.
Day 2: Boats, Beauty, and the Ballad of the Bungalow Bat
- 07:00: Wake up. Sun beating down. I swear, the sun here is aggressive. Made the mistake of forgetting to close my curtains last night. Lesson learned.
- 08:00: Breakfast. Surprisingly good. Lots of fruit. Trying to be healthy, despite the lingering Pad Thai cravings.
- 09:00: Boat trip to a nearby island. The guy who runs the boat looks like he’s seen a ghost, but he's friendly. The water’s crystal clear. The coral? Bright and beautiful. Snorkeled. Saw fish that looked like they belong on a Lisa Frank sticker. Amazing.
- 12:00: Island picnic. More Pad Thai. Okay, I have a problem. But hey, it's vacation.
- 13:00: Back to the resort. Sunburn developing. Should have listened to my own advice about sunscreen.
- 14:00: Napping. The heat is all-consuming.
- 16:00: Decided to FINALLY find that spa. This time, I actually did. Booked a traditional Thai massage. It was… intense. My muscles haven't felt this relaxed in… well, ever. The masseuse? Tiny woman, hands of steel. I’m pretty sure she could crush a coconut.
- 18:00: Back to the bungalow. And that's when all hell broke loose. As I was trying to get ready for dinner, a bloody BAT, yes, a bat, decided to make my bungalow its personal bat cave. Screaming, frantic flailing of hands, and the sudden realization that I am, apparently, a complete and utter coward. Ended up sitting on the patio for about an hour, praying it would leave. (It eventually did.) Traumatized.
- 20:00: Dinner. Needed comfort food. Ordered more Pad Thai. I see a pattern forming.
Day 3: Regret, Reflections, and the Quest for a Decent Coffee
- 07:30: Woke up. The bat-induced trauma is still fresh. My nerves are shot.
- 08:30: Breakfast. The coffee is basically colored water. This is a serious hardship. I need caffeine to function, and I’m pretty sure that’s a medical emergency at this point.
- 09:00: Strolled the beach again, trying to channel some inner peace. Found a tiny, perfect seashell. Feeling vaguely optimistic… until I remembered the mosquito attack. It’s a constant struggle between relaxation and complete paranoid terror.
- 10:00 Contemplating going home.
- 11:00: Trying to find a good coffee, failing.
- 12:00: Lunch. Pad Thai is the only way.
- 13:00: Packing.
- 14:00: leaving.
Final Thoughts:
Two Fifty Nine. It’s… an experience. The beauty is undeniable. The food is delicious. The insect population, however, could probably conquer a small country. Would I recommend it? Yes, but bring your own strong coffee, industrial-strength bug spray, and maybe a bodyguard to deal with any potential wildlife encounters. And for the love of all that is holy, pace yourself with the Pad Thai. My gut is still paying the price. This trip has been a wild ride – equal parts paradise and hilarious disaster. And honestly? I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to find a proper coffee shop… and possibly a therapist who specializes in bat-related trauma.
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Escape to Paradise: 259 Resort Chonburi Awaits! - Your Burning Questions (and My Rambling Thoughts)
Okay, so... is this place *actually* paradise? The marketing photos are… well, perfect.
Paradise? Honey, let's be real. The marketing photos? They're probably shot with a filter that makes me look ten years younger, and I’m *already* pretty fantastic. 😉 259 Resort? It's *good*. Really good. But paradise? I’d say it’s more like… a wonderfully chill escape. You know, the kind where you can actually *unwind* without feeling like you’re on some Instagram influencer's manicured lawn.
My expectations were sky-high, I admit. I saw the pictures – those turquoise pools, those perfectly positioned palm trees, the smiles... *so many* smiles. I arrived a bit frazzled after a particularly chaotic week at work and fully expected to be wowed. And I *was*. But the reality? It was better because it was... real.
There was this one tiny imperfection, though. The "ocean view" from our room? More like "ocean... glimpse, if you squint and lean precariously out the balcony." And the first night, I swear I heard a particularly enthusiastic gecko having a party on our roof. But honestly? It was charming. Seriously, charming. It made it feel less like a sterile hotel and more like… well, *somewhere*.
Tell me about the rooms. Are they clean? Is the AC working? (These are crucial!)
Rooms? Okay, this is important. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, as my Grandma used to say (and Grandma was obsessed with cleanliness). Absolutely! The rooms were spotless. And the AC? Bless its little, icy heart. It was a lifesaver. We arrived in that awful Chonburi humidity, and I was convinced I’d melt before I even got my first Mai Tai. The AC? It worked. Beautifully. It was like stepping into a refrigerated cloud. Fantastic.
The decor was simple but stylish – a little bit minimalist, a little bit… beachy. Think clean lines, comfy beds, and enough space to actually *move* around without bumping into everything. I am a klutz, and I did not knock anything over! My only issue was that I couldn't find a good place to set down my book. I ended up reading in the bathtub. A+ for relaxation, C- for practical reading.
Oh! One more thing. The water pressure in the shower? Absolutely glorious. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I spent a solid fifteen minutes just standing under that powerful, luxurious spray, letting the water just wash away my stress. Just… pure bliss. Sorry for the visual, but trust me, it was necessary after a week of battling deadlines and questionable coffee.
What’s the food like? Because let's be honest, that can *make or break* a vacation.
Food! Okay, this is where I get excited. Because honestly? The food was *amazing*. I’m talking fresh seafood, spicy curries, and fruit that tasted like sunshine. The resort restaurant offered a variety of dishes, from Thai classics to Western favorites, and honestly? I wanted to try it all.
I may or may not have eaten Pad Thai for breakfast, lunch, *and* dinner one day. Don’t judge me! It was that good. Perfectly balanced, with a hint of spice and a satisfying crunch from the peanuts. Seriously, I’m drooling just thinking about it. I might need to book another trip *just* for the Pad Thai.
Then there was this one little incident. The first night, I ordered the grilled fish. The waiter, bless his heart, warned me it was spicy, but I was confident. "I like spicy!" I declared. Well, friends… let's just say I was wrong. My mouth was on fire, my eyes were watering, and I was desperately scouring the table for something, *anything*, to cool my tongue. I finally found some iced tea and chugged a whole pitcher. But even with the tears and burning mouth, I ate every bite. Don't ask. The grilled fish was still great. This is proof of how great the food was!
Is there anything to do besides just lying on the beach? I get bored easily. (I'm looking at you, Mr. S. "Sunburnt and Bored")
Haha, "Sunburnt and Bored"! I know the type! Look, if you're the type who needs constant stimulation, 259 has you covered. There's a gorgeous infinity pool (duh!), but they also had options. They had kayaking. It's so wonderful! I tried it, I could even paddle on my own!
And here's a tip: Definitely check out the local markets! They're a sensory explosion – the colors, the smells, the sheer energy of them... it's incredible. You might even discover a secret local snack that'll become your new addiction, like I did. I'm keeping the name of the snack a secret until another trip.
However, if you're like me, sometimes the best activity is *no* activity. I spent a lot of time just reading my book on the balcony, listening to the waves and feeling the sun on my skin. It's what I wanted. I had a massage at the spa. Oh, and the massage? Heavenly. Pure bliss that left my tangled muscles and knotty thoughts untangled. It was worth every penny (and maybe even a few extra pennies…). I felt so relaxed I almost drifted off and forgot where I was, and then I started to imagine the spa as my home- I'd get everything I needed, and I'd just be there....
Tell me about the staff. Are they friendly and helpful? Or are they just… there?
The staff? Oh, they were a delight! I mean, seriously, they were some of the friendliest, most helpful people I've ever met in a hotel. They seemed genuinely happy to be there, and their smiles were… infectious. Nothing felt forced, like you sometimes get.
I had a minor (okay, maybe slightly embarrassing) situation involving a spilled drink and a rogue coconut. I'm not going into details, but let's just say it involved a slippery floor and my clumsiness. The staff saw it and rushed to help. They were efficient, professional, and didn't make me feel like the total klutz that I am. I was mortified, but they were lovely. They were kind enough to let it go and bring me another beverage.
They were always happy to offer recommendations, give directions, or just have a friendly chat. They obviously cared about your stay. I never felt like a burden, just like I was a valued customer. The staff? Absolute gold. Seriously, give them all raises.
Would you go back? Be honest!
Would I go back? In a heartbeat! Honestly, as I'm writing this, I'm seriously contemplating booking another trip. I'm already dreaming of that Pad Thai, the blissful AC, and basking in the sun! Yes,Scenic Stays
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